This isn't my lowest point of life.
But having to know that you might lost your love ones, over whatever you said, that's seriously a big deal to me.
'm a sucker in words, and a sucker in relationship. I never had a good and long and stable relationship for the past like 7 years of my life? None lasted for more than 18 months.
Yes, all of my gfs long for stable relationship w someone that they could settle down w, and eventually married w them. I wanted that too, but i haven't met mine yet.
Always making the wrong decisions. I admit 'm those who go after bad boys, and got heartbroken over it, and i will turn around and says "Relationship sucks, i rather be single". And ended up, i will wind up w another guy again. Like people says, some girls like the thrill of dating bad boys. LOL. Not a fan of that, and never was.
(Bad boy IN MY TERMS, not YOUR terms)
So eventually, dating on and off w different guys since secondary two, and finally single for a year plus before i met my current boyfriend. (i know him fr almost 4 years, so shut up if you think i 找到新欢，忘了旧爱 or i change target fast like i change clothes or whatsoever)
Tbh, most of my friends doesn't like the idea of me getting tgt w my bf. I can say, it's a rather rash decision, but since alrdy got tgt, what else can i do? Wasn't born to please everyone, so some of them just gave me the blessings.
First impression on him wasn't good, but still i got tgt w him. Don't ever ask me why, love have no reasons right? :')
We're really good and sweet at first, yknow those honeymoon period. Meeting up w his family, knowing more of his mates and the best part is... trying our best to meetup, no matter how late it is, after both our CNY chushi. Me finding all the excuses to get out from house to meet him.
That's the wow part after we got tgt. Not to mention, i really miss those time.
Eventually, he got enlisted awhile later after we got tgt, waited for him to finish his 3 weeks confinement period is a torture.
But as weeks go by, things doesn't work out the way i wanted to be anymore. Lost of spark and etc. Feeling insecure and feeling jealous, then ended up 自己跟自己打心理战. My bf knows everything i feel. Yes yes, i told him i feel insecure over this, jealous over that and bla bla. I think 'm damn irritating, but i can't help it. And deep down, i know telling him everything, will cause him to feel pressurized too.
And after revealing stuffs to him a while ago, he stopped replying me, and i felt that he's distancing himself from me. Sigh. I don't know how to turn things around, but i wish the end wasn't near. We agree on working things out tgt no matter what for the future, and we gotta accept each other flaws.
But no matter what, thank god i found you :') You're still the awesomely perfect boyfriend that i had met. ♡ Really hope that all the dark clouds can go away as soon as possible. *fingers crossed*
And counting down 5 days to 2nd monthsary, wonder if you ever rmbr. Sigh.
Till then.....
Xoxo, YJessica
